How to Explain Autism to Siblings

When one child in a family is diagnosed with autism, it can affect the entire household, especially siblings. Brothers and sisters may have questions, frustrations, or even feelings of confusion about what autism means and how it impacts their daily lives. Parents often find themselves wondering how to explain autism to siblings of their kid with autism in a way that fosters understanding, compassion, and family unity.

At Cardinal Pediatric Therapies, we recognize that supporting the entire family is crucial to achieving long-term success. While much of our focus is on providing customized ABA therapy to children with autism, we also support parents and caregivers in building strong, informed, and connected family relationships. This includes helping siblings feel seen, heard, and included.

This article offers guidance on explaining autism to siblings at various developmental stages, key messages to convey, and strategies to foster healthy sibling dynamics over time.

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Why Talking to Siblings About Autism Matters

Open and honest communication helps reduce uncertainty, resentment, and fear. Siblings who understand autism are more likely to be supportive, less likely to misinterpret behavior, and better prepared to navigate everyday life with empathy.

Here are some of the reasons it is essential to talk to siblings about autism:

  • Clarity Reduces Confusion: Children are observant. Suppose they see their sibling receiving therapy, having meltdowns, or requiring more parental attention. In that case, they will try to make sense of it. Without guidance, they may draw incorrect or hurtful conclusions.
  • Communication Strengthens Relationships: By explaining autism clearly, you can help siblings develop patience and maintain a loving connection, even during challenging moments.
  • Validation Supports Emotional Health: Siblings may feel neglected, embarrassed, or even jealous. Talking openly lets them know these feelings are normal and that they are still important members of the family.
  • Inclusion Fosters Resilience: When siblings understand the challenges and strengths of their brother or sister, they become part of a supportive, united family team.

How to Tailor the Conversation to Each Child’s Age

There is no one-size-fits-all script. The way you explain autism should reflect each sibling’s age, maturity level, and emotional needs. Here are general guidelines for age-appropriate conversations.

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Young Children (Ages 3 to 6)

At this age, children think in concrete and simple terms. Keep explanations concise and focused on what the reader can see and experience. For example, let’s imagine talking to the younger sibling of a boy with autism:

  • “Your brother’s brain works a little differently, so he might not talk or play the same way.”
  • “He might get upset if things change because he likes things to stay the same.”
  • “He loves you very much, even if he doesn’t always show it with words.”

Avoid technical language. Use picture books, toys, or stories to make the idea more relatable and engaging. The goal is to build a basic understanding and compassion without overwhelming them.

School-Age Children (Ages 7 to 12)

At this stage, children begin to understand more abstract ideas and may have more specific questions. They are also more socially aware and may notice how their sibling interacts differently with others.

You can expand the conversation to include:

  • Differences in how people learn, speak, or play
  • Why their sibling might go to therapy
  • The importance of patience and how to be a helper or friend

Let them ask questions, and be honest if you do not have all the answers. Reinforce the idea that everyone in the family is unique, and all emotions are valid.

Teenagers (Ages 13 and Up)

Teen siblings are more capable of understanding complex ideas, including emotional regulation, neurological differences, and social dynamics. They may have deeper concerns about long-term family responsibilities or peer perception.

For teens, it can help to:

  • Discuss autism in scientific terms, if they are interested
  • Acknowledge the stress that can accompany having a sibling on the autism spectrum.
  • Encourage open conversations about family balance, social situations, and boundaries.

Involving them in discussions about therapy goals or family planning can make them feel valued and respected; however, be cautious not to place adult-level responsibilities on their shoulders.

Key Messages to Communicate About Autism

When explaining autism to siblings, there are specific core messages that should be reinforced over time, regardless of age.

  • Autism is not anyone’s fault. Your sibling did not choose to have autism, and no one caused it to happen.
  • Individuals with autism experience the world in a unique way. This includes how they react to sound, light, touch, language, and routine.
  • Your sibling may not express things the way you do. That does not mean they do not care. Their love and needs may look different.
  • Everyone has different strengths and challenges. Just like some people are good at math and others are good at drawing, some brains work in unique ways.
  • It is okay to feel frustrated or confused. Your emotions matter, and you can always talk about them.
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Use Real-Life Examples and Tools

One of the best ways to help siblings understand autism is to connect the conversation to real-life experiences.

For example, if your child with autism becomes overwhelmed in noisy environments, explain how loud sounds feel to them. You might say, “Imagine if the TV, the vacuum, and five people were all talking at once. That’s what it feels like to your brother when we go to the grocery store.”

You can also use books, videos, or TV shows that include characters with autism. Seeing stories that reflect their family dynamic can help siblings feel less alone and more informed.

Encourage Open Dialogue and Emotional Expression

Talking about autism should never be a one-time conversation. Instead, it should be part of an ongoing dialogue that adapts as your children grow.

Let siblings know they are allowed to ask questions. Create a safe space for them to discuss their feelings, including anger, sadness, or confusion. Reassure them that these emotions are normal and that they are not expected to be perfect siblings.

Some families benefit from family counseling or coaching, especially when sibling relationships become strained. At Cardinal Pediatric Therapies, our team offers parent coaching that includes guidance on navigating sibling dynamics.

Promote Positive Sibling Relationships Without Overloading Responsibility

While it can be heartwarming to see a sibling take on a supportive role, it is essential not to expect them to become a therapist, parent, or caretaker.

Encourage shared activities that both children enjoy, such as drawing, puzzles, or outdoor play. Celebrate their bond while maintaining healthy boundaries.

Ensure that each sibling has opportunities for one-on-one time with parents, engages in personal hobbies, and participates in social activities outside the home. Every child deserves space to develop their identity.

How Cardinal Pediatric Therapies Supports the Whole Family

At Cardinal Pediatric Therapies, we know that raising a child with autism affects the entire family. That is why our services are designed with family collaboration in mind.

We offer:

With locations in Arizona and North Carolina, our experienced team partners with families to ensure that every child, sibling, and caregiver feels empowered and supported.

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Get Started With ABA Therapy Services Today!

Explaining autism to siblings can feel like a delicate balance. You want to protect their emotional well-being while helping them understand the unique needs of their sibling. With age-appropriate communication, patience, and support, siblings can develop stronger relationships and become lifelong allies.

At Cardinal Pediatric Therapies, we are here to support you every step of the way. From early diagnosis through long-term growth, our team is committed to helping your entire family thrive.

Contact us today to get started with ABA therapy services!

About the Author

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Dr. Mike Henderson, Ph.D., BCBA-D, LBA

Regional Operations Director

North Carolina

Mike Henderson, PhD, LBA, BCBA-D, is the Regional Operations Director at Cardinal Pediatric Therapies. With over two decades of experience in behavior analysis and organizational leadership, he focuses on mentoring teams and fostering a culture of collaboration, growth, and excellence in client care. Mike believes strong leadership and supportive systems are essential for helping clients, families, and providers succeed together.

Felicia Freeman

Clinic Manager

I am Felicia Freeman, the Clinic Manager for Cardinal Pediatric Therapies. I have been in ABA for several years now and am passionate about the community that we serve. I started out as an RBT, decided to go the administrative route, and worked my way up to managing clinics. I choose this field every day because I enjoy making a meaningful impact in the lives of our clients and building strong teams that change lives.

Amanda Dean, MA, BCBA, LBA

Johnston County, NC

Amanda graduated from The Chicago School of Professional Psychology in 2018 with her Masters in Psychology. She proceeded to complete her graduate certificate in ABA and became a BCBA in November 2020. Amanda has a passion for behavior reduction, tolerance training and functional communication training. She enjoys spending as much time as she can with her 3 children and husband. When she’s not working, Amanda is very involved in her local Pop Warner Cheerleading program where she is the Assistant Cheer Director and a head coach.

Becky Fronheiser

Operations Director

Arizona

Becky has worked in behavioral health for 7 years. She joined Cardinal in the spring of 2024.  Becky is grateful for the opportunity to work with such a passionate group of people and looks forward to supporting families with their specific ABA needs.  In her personal time, she enjoys spending quality time with her husband, 6 kids and 4 grandkids and loves to travel and relax on the beach.

Matthew Wilkinson

Operations Director

Cary, NC

Matthew holds a bachelors degree from the University of Utah, Medical Degree from the Autonomous University of Guadalajara and an MBA from Western Governors University. He has worked in the pediatric field for the majority of his professional life and has a passion for helping bring the best care to children in need. He enjoys spending time with his wife and three children and day trips to the coast.

 

Trisha Iannotta Bieszczad, PsyD., BCBA

Triad, NC

Trisha is a Board Certified Behavior Analyst (BCBA) with extensive expertise since 2016 in applying behavior analytic principles to improve the lives of children and adolescents. Her professional journey began with a doctoral degree in clinical psychology, emphasizing child and adolescent development. This foundation has equipped her with a deep understanding of psychological theories and practices, which she seamlessly integrates into her work as a BCBA. Outside of her professional endeavors, Trisha enjoys reading, spending time outdoors with her family & trying out new restaurants. Trisha’s dedication to both her career and personal interests reflects her commitment to continual growth and enrichment, both professionally and personally. Her multifaceted background allows her to approach each aspect of her life with a blend of expertise, enthusiasm, and a genuine appreciation for learning and exploration.

Tina Lee

Director of Finance

Tina Lee is the Finance Director for Cardinal with a variety of experience in the Healthcare Industry for over 13 years. She is compassionate and always eager to assist where she can. In the ever-changing Healthcare environment, Tina has played a vital role in putting processes in place to obtain high efficiency outcomes to help our clients get the care they need. Tina enjoys the outdoors and loves spending time with her family.

William Evans

Director of Outreach and Recruitment

William is a UNCW Graduate who started his professional career working in Marketing and Recruiting for a local technology company before looking for an opportunity to take those skills and help others. In his spare time he plays hockey, including annually for the North Carolina Autism Hockey Tournament, which is dedicated to the raising money and awareness for organizations helping local families with children diagnosed with autism.

Alice Okamoto, MA, BCBA, LBA

Chief of Staff

Alice has been with Cardinal for over 4 years and has worn many hats along the way!  Alice has a passion for working with clients and families as a unit, supervising behavior analyst trainees, and collaborating on strategic initiatives to ensure clinical efficiencies.  Alice‘s professional experience began with ABA in a school setting, and has worked in schools, homes, and clinics throughout the years while enjoying collaboration with related providers.  In her free time, Alice enjoys traveling, exploring parks with her dog, Oliver, and trying new restaurants. 

Darrin Miller

CEO

Darrin has dedicated his education and career to the field of behavioral health. As a licensed therapist and master’s in clinical counseling he works to create solutions that improve the lives of those impacted by Autism Spectrum Disorder at a local, state, and national level. He strives to create a culture of caring and empathy while innovating solutions for improving families’ access to quality care as quickly as possible.